Police Under the Covers
Ironically, given their job description, the undercover police have been at the forefront of public scrutiny this week as it was re-revealed (due to the outrage at an alleged Stephen Lawrence smear campaign) that officers from the ‘Special Demonstrations Squad’ had not only infiltrated a bunch of ecology activist groups, but had been slamming and banging half of the Greenpeace chicks they were meant to be spying on. One such copper even reportedly fathered a little hippie kid before running back to his normal life on the beat!
Scandalous right? Well not according to a friend of mine who, for the purposes of this article, I will call Plod. Plod says that as a society we are demonstrating dramatic double standards by demonizing these officers. ‘What bloke’ he says ‘can honestly say he has never pretended to love animals, ice caps, and the sodding ozone layer to try and get with chicks?’
Plod says that some of us are more convincing than others in the art of persuasion but these guys are just the best of the best. So good in fact that their whole livelihood depends on pretending to care about animals, the ozone and bloody recycling.
Plod won’t mind me saying this but Plod is an idiot. However I reiterate his alliteration about ‘dramatic double standards in the demonization of these officers’ in one respect and here it is: Why can James Bond get away with it but these police officers can’t? In all Bond films our man 007’ poses as some sort of suave suit wearing, by day banking, by night blackjacking, international sex machine when in fact he is just the same as any of these police officers, a public servant.
My question is do you really believe that Bond, in one of the quieter years for international terrorism, when he’s assigned to a boring mission like infiltrating Fathers for Justice or something, that he wouldn’t still be shagging? Of course he would! He’s Bond! He would be mopping up ex wives like there was no tomorrow and we would bloody love him for it.
No-one batted an eyelid in the last film when, uninvited, he got into the shower with a woman he had never even kissed before. I’ll point out he was naked at the time and, even though he was in international waters, in my eyes it was a blatant sexual assault.
So maybe there is some truth in Plods sentiments. In films it seems you can shag whoever you like under whatever alias you like and you are idolized. However when it comes to real life it’s gotta be the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.