Milk For One
The two diggers walked to the store to buy food yesterday and had an appalling experience. We wandered round the aisles checking out the strange array of items and deciding our preference on tinned sweetcorn, whether we thought we were whole kernal kind of guys or if we would enjoy just the niblets. Teabags were a godsent but when we went for milk the scene was terrible. There was no milk sold in any measurement under a gallon! There was almond milk and vitamin D milk but no top-up-your-tea-with-just-a-small-smidgen milk. Digger looked close to tears but I reassured him it would be alright and asked the cashier if they sold smaller milk. She looked horrified.
“Why d’y’all want smaller milk?”
I said no single man can drink that much milk before it goes off. I said do you have to buy milk for your whole street when you want a bowl of cereal? I said “Will I have to get a cat?!”
Digger said he didn’t want a cat and so after some deliberation we decided that if we didn’t finish it we could always just pour it in the sink or down the toilet. I said can I please have a gallon of Vitamin D milk.
But the horror didn’t end there…
I asked if they sold fruit and vegetables and she said no. I said is there anywhere near that does and she said no, not within walking distance. Then she told me how much she loved London and that she wanted to be just like baby spice. Hurriedly I ushered Digger West out of the door before his mumbling about baby being the worst one could turn into anything malicious.