Category: Comedy

Red Handed 1,853

‘Making a Murder’ & ‘Red Handed’

I watched the Netfix series ‘Making a Murderer’ recently. For anyone who hasn’t watched it, it’s like listening to the This American Life podcast ‘Serial’ over countless montages of the junkyard from hit nineties TV show ‘Scrapheap Challenge’. I hope that has helped clear things up. Now on with the...

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Why the King’s Cross – Stories From the Underground

“The Baron’s Court his Seven Sisters Wapping in a ditch in the Royal Park,” said Victoria, “And now the King’s Cross.” “Who’s ditch?” I asked. “Shoreditch” Victoria said but I told her it wasn’t. “It’s by Devon’s Road it must be his ditch. Now tell me why the King’s Cross?”...

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The London Mayoral Election – Where were you?

I know that lots of you didn’t end up voting in yesterday’s Mayoral elections. Why would you? You’re young, dumb and full of cum, and politics is for bellends. Besides, who really knows what the London Mayor actually does (except the obvious like get bikes names after them)? I get...

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Giles Pickett’s Letters

Dear mum, I saw a toddler yesterday from behind, walking along in my estate in a big coat and hat, and I started thinking to myself that this toddler could actually just be an adult person, like a normal-sized woman or something, and that maybe my perspective was just wrong....

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Day 12 (Atlantic Voyage)

‘Digger’s Ramblings’: Written by Brook Driver and David West After twelve days of being ordered to pull in and let go of lines (ropes), I’ve almost reached my destination – Antigua! Though Mark, another Antigua bound passenger, has informed me that I will only have a measly four days ashore...

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Day 10 (Atlantic Voyage)

The cockpit had just about dried out after the rain storms of the night before. A string had been tied between the backstays and from it hung all the wet weather gear, sodden jackets and long dungaree type trousers, swaying from side to side as the boat rolled around in...

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Day 4 (Atlantic Voyage)

‘Captain West’ – Written by Brook driver and David West Last night the storm was blowing far too many big knots it was absolutely mental… for some people. The boat was in desperate need… desperate for a Master (and a Commander) to take charge of this old girl. Suddenly the...

Marcel and a Mahi Mahi! 1,400

Day 3 (Atlantic Voyage)

As Giles aptly described, small things can become alarmingly interesting after a number of days at sea. A bird, for instance, sparked lively, Attenborough-esq debate between Digger and I as we tried to identify its species from its distinctive features. After exhausting the only seabird option we knew (a seagull)...

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Day 1 (Atlantic Voyage)

Today we set off on our voyage across the Atlantic, boat fully stocked with food and water, and the crew eager for the 2,800 miles of open water between us and the Caribbean. Much of the crew met each other for the first time last night and over a beer...

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#FootballersAsFilms

“Shawshank Redempsey, you must have heard of that film! You know, where Clint Dempsey is given a life sentence at Shawshank State penitentiary. I can’t believe you haven’t seen it! I won’t tell you the ending but essentially he meets Morgan Freeman in the joint and has a bloody good...

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Recasting The Bible

The red wine had stained my mum’s lips and emboldened her tongue. “Sacrifice!” she yelled again from the TV room, “You want to know about sacrifice! Jane Austen sacrificed her whole life because she couldn’t marry James Mcavoy!” My sister was in the kitchen with me and she shrugged. I...

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Brush and Floss

My dentist, either as a well thought out subliminal message, or because he knows no other reality, has decorated his office to resemble the insides of a giant, well kept mouth. He’s painted the walls the blanched pink colour of gums and lined them with equally spaced posters of teeth,...

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Why Fans Shouldn’t Piss Off George RR Martin

[dropcap]T[/dropcap]he Game of Thrones author George RR Martin was told the other week of readers concerns that he might not live long enough to finish the fantasy series. His ‘come at me bro’ response was absolutely priceless. Not only was he quoted as replying, “fuck you to those people”, he...

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Slept Like a Baby

[dropcap]I[/dropcap] walked the length of the Yorkshire Dales the other week with four friends. It was 82 miles and we completed it in a leisurely six days. Of all of them day 3 was the hardest. We didn’t have much food, it rained and we got lost, meaning we ended...

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How David Brent Killed Comedy

[dropcap]R[/dropcap]icky Gervais and Steven Merchant are comic geniuses. That’s undeniable. They are also, in my opinion, the sole reason for my generation being bereft of any sort of comic creativity and this is due to one thing: The Office (or to Americans ‘The Office UK’). You see The Office was...

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Leeds Student Paper Loses Funding

Does anyone remember this front page of the Leeds Student Paper? It was a corker. It was like the time that other paper exposed that high-level, drug-running mob ring, complete with blurry pictures of the suspects as they were snapped outside of their homes through long lens cameras. Only it...

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How to Keep Male Students Looking and Feeling Great

Men have a problem at public urinals, fact. It’s a self-image thing, the cause of undue worry, stress and insecurity amongst large numbers of males. Such insecurity in any body of students can be severely detrimental to performance and I believe, through simple measures, this problem can be avoided. Now...