Category: Article

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The London Mayoral Election – Where were you?

I know that lots of you didn’t end up voting in yesterday’s Mayoral elections. Why would you? You’re young, dumb and full of cum, and politics is for bellends. Besides, who really knows what the London Mayor actually does (except the obvious like get bikes names after them)? I get...

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Sharing is Caring – How to help an artist

Image by Ed Quast. A large proportion of my friends are struggling artists and I hasten to emphasize the word struggling. They are photographers, musicians, filmmakers, writers, actors, poets or some sweet creative combination of the above. They are also, though their twitter won’t admit it, part time bar staff,...

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#FootballersAsFilms

“Shawshank Redempsey, you must have heard of that film! You know, where Clint Dempsey is given a life sentence at Shawshank State penitentiary. I can’t believe you haven’t seen it! I won’t tell you the ending but essentially he meets Morgan Freeman in the joint and has a bloody good...

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Recasting The Bible

The red wine had stained my mum’s lips and emboldened her tongue. “Sacrifice!” she yelled again from the TV room, “You want to know about sacrifice! Jane Austen sacrificed her whole life because she couldn’t marry James Mcavoy!” My sister was in the kitchen with me and she shrugged. I...

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Why Fans Shouldn’t Piss Off George RR Martin

[dropcap]T[/dropcap]he Game of Thrones author George RR Martin was told the other week of readers concerns that he might not live long enough to finish the fantasy series. His ‘come at me bro’ response was absolutely priceless. Not only was he quoted as replying, “fuck you to those people”, he...

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How David Brent Killed Comedy

[dropcap]R[/dropcap]icky Gervais and Steven Merchant are comic geniuses. That’s undeniable. They are also, in my opinion, the sole reason for my generation being bereft of any sort of comic creativity and this is due to one thing: The Office (or to Americans ‘The Office UK’). You see The Office was...

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Leeds Student Paper Loses Funding

Does anyone remember this front page of the Leeds Student Paper? It was a corker. It was like the time that other paper exposed that high-level, drug-running mob ring, complete with blurry pictures of the suspects as they were snapped outside of their homes through long lens cameras. Only it...

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Library Etiquette

I believe that hours spent in the library are as directly related to degree success as Prince Harry is to his father, Charles. Those evenings jacked up on Red Bull, sitting alone in wooden box like you’re David Blaine, old wine or a woodland creature, are so essential that sometimes...

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Alternative Memory Techniques

In preparation for my final year at university I listened to a podcast from Derren Brown (Memory; Tricks of the Mind) to try and improve my fairly average memory. One of the tricks he teaches is for remembering the names of people you meet which I think is such a...

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Wimbledon in the Dogs (Underdogs)

In an article about Serena Williams’ shocking defeat at the hands of 24thseed Sabine Lisicki the Metro ran this line: “One of the few things that Wimbledon loves better than Serena Williams is a gallant underdog beating the best.” I want to highlight what’s wrong with this sentence by pointing...

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Police Under the Covers

Ironically, given their job description, the undercover police have been at the forefront of public scrutiny this week as it was re-revealed (due to the outrage at an alleged Stephen Lawrence smear campaign) that officers from the ‘Special Demonstrations Squad’ had not only infiltrated a bunch of ecology activist groups,...